Where's my greatest hits of the sixties?
I just listened to it last week.
Did you leave it at home?
Whoa!
Whoa. Huh.
Sorry. Sorry.
Too much lipstick?
Oh, man. Good girl, Sally. Good girl.
Mmm. Oh.
So much for our pristine wilderness experience.
Yeah, well, I told you this is an adventure,
which basically is a vacation with meat on it.
And I want you to have your meat, darling, I really do.
I was just hoping for some room service and a good wine.
What is it with you
and these skinny little white boy singers you like so much?
Married one, didn't iI?
Yeah, but I don't sing that new crap
in the shower, do I, huh?
Dad always said the great music died...
The day they dreamed up disco.
That's right.
I... I could lick that off.
And keep both eyes on the road?
I don't think so.
I'm still jiggy from last night.
Piney wood, starry skies.
It's just... just the right timing
To make a baby, I think.
Yeah.
We both keep singing that song, huh?
Mm-hmm.
Here we are.
Ah, boy.
Bacon, eggs, homemade biscuits.
I can eat this way every morning for the rest of my life.
Until the day you die, next year.
This is it.
This is the real oregon, baby. Oh, yeah.
If the rumors are true
and I take a transfer to Jersey,
- at least we'll have this trip, huh? - Mm-hmm.
So glad we got a taste of the wildlife.
Hey, you know, we could take a shortcut to Toketee Falls.
Clark. Yeah, we take 58 two miles east,
and go south on this county road.
Oh, that looks pretty empty.
Think the word is wilderness,
as in no gas stations, no restrooms,
no motels with soft beds.
No, no, we'll find one. We'll find one. Here.
Just cut across this highway here.
Can't be much further to Toketee.
See?
Huh?
It's all about the roads with no numbers, man.
Blaze a trail. Feel the land.
Yeah, like we're pioneer stock.
You're a computer programmer, clark.
That's what I do, honey. That's not what I am.
Sorry, you come from a long line
of hunter-gatherers.
Just some guy's body
broken for you and for many.
Oh, we're talking mass culture, sugar muffin.
You kidding me?
Now what?
Clark, I gave up teaching summer school for this.
Please tell me we're not lost.
We're not lost.
We're just in mid-process.
I've never seen a road marked like that.
Where are the phone lines?
I don't know.
You don't know?
Uh, no, I haven't seen them in a while.
Well, how long is a while?
I don't know, you know, 10, 20 miles.
Want my advice?
No, but I suppose I'll get it anyway.
You know, I really can't stand it when you roll your eyes like that.
Roll my eyes like what?
Oh, you know, like I'm some old dog
that farted under the dinner table.
Go on, go on. It's your nickel.
Tell me what you're thinking.
Let's go back while there's still time.
Yeah, sure, now all you need is a sign that says "repent."
That's the problem with you teachers.
You're always tied to your lesson plans.
That's it.
It's got to be the right fork.
This is... That's south.
Yeah, I can smell Toketee Falls from here.
That's the ranch road. Must be.
A ranch road with a striped line?
Well, you'd be surprised how well-off some of these ranchers are.
Money in the land, my dad always said.
Baby...
let's go back and find a nice hot tub
and a cold mojito.
- Reverse is right there, baby. - I know, honey.
Wrong... reverse is just another word
for going backwards. Ok?
Besides, it's not like the yellow line is gonna run out.
Well, ok, huh.
Doesn't matter.
There'll always be a county road.
We'll just head... Keep heading south, southeast.
Oh, Clark!
Don't say anything, ok?
We're not lost. We're not lost!
The road'll open up again
over the next hill probably.
We're not lost.
Oh!
That's it.
I'm calling the auto club.
In 15 years of marriage,
you've never asked for directions ever.
Just like your father.
Gave you this car of his, and the day he did,
there must have been 50,000 extra miles
from going around in circles.
Well, you know, one man's circle
is another man's wanderlust.
Yeah, well, i'm all out of lust,
and we've wandered long enough.
C lark.
Clark, I give.
Ok?
You're a man among men.
I say this with the greatest respect.
Turn the damn car around.
Honey, honey, honey,
I can't risk turning the car around now.
The road is too narrow, the shoulders are soft.
We'll get stuck.
Ok? I got us into this, i will get us out.
Trust me.
Clark, it's um...
It's getting late. We've got to turn back.
Oh, just stop it, Mary, all right?
Just put down the chalk, will you?
Not some Tolkien fantasy here.
We'll be fine.
We just got to stay the course.
Stay the course.
You can't find the course, Clark.
I mean, what are you trying to prove?
We're in trouble here. Just look.
Can't you see it?
Uh, I see a sign.
Can you read it? Can you read it?
Yeah, it says, "If you came this far,
you really screwed up."
Huh.
This has to be a joke.
Well, maybe not.
A town called Rock and Roll Heaven?
Well, why not?
There's truth and consequences, New Mexico,
there's shark, Nevada,
There's even a town in Pennsylvania called intercourse.
I mean, why not Rock and Roll Heaven?
I mean, maybe it was built by hippies back in the 60s.
I don't know, it doesn't matter.
What matters is that we've found some
honest-to-god pavement again, honey.
You made that up.
What?
Intercourse, Pennsylvania.
No, no, no, I swear, it's...
I've done intercourse...
Pennsylvania.
- Huh? - Yeah.
We'll do the new road.
Be careful.
- Ooh. - Ah.
Ah, Norman Rockwell's birthplace.
Has to be.
Huh.
Where's the smoke?
There should be smoke from a chimney somewhere.
You know, we could win
a condo in the garden of eden,
and you'd be worrying about aphids.
Let's turn around.
What? Why?
I don't like it. That's all.
Look at that house.
Uh, yeah, it's beautiful.
Yeah. It's like the candy house in Hansel and Gretel.
Oh, come on.
No, I hid under my bed for a week
after mom read me that story.
Let's just turn around. The roads are wide enough.
Look at the character of the place, huh?
I mean, if you wanna buy a souvenir,
buy a t-shirt.
A t-shirt!
That's how you do it, Clark.
That's how men always do it.
Do what?
Get your way.
Not by being right, by being relentless.
- Oh, you're getting out now? - Yeah!
Ok. All right. Yeah.
Yeah. All right.
One t-shirt. 5 minutes.
No. When do I get to choose, Clark, huh?
When do we take the trip I'd like?
When do we move to a different place for my job?
You can teach anywhere.
I'm getting a headache.
Come on. It's 19 miles back to highway 58
over the same crappy road...
19 miles isn't so much.
But when you tack on 50 miles it's gonna take
to go around the forest,
Once we get to highway 58...
You make it sound like we have a plane to catch.
Well, this ticks me off, you know?
I mean, you take one look... It's a nice little town.
It's got a cute little name.
And suddenly, you're reminded of... of like...
Mystic River or some damn thing,
- and you wanna go back. - Yeah.
Where if we just stayed on the same road through town,
we just cut south, due south...
It's probably not even a half an hour to Toketee Falls...
That's what you said back at the diner, remember?
Whoo!
Peace! We love you!
Make love, not war!
Far out.
What was that about?
I don't know. Something for the tourists, I'm thinking.
All right. One souvenir and we're gone, promise.
First wicked witch we see,
I'm gonna back up mustang Sally all the way to Portland.
No questions asked.
Please? Please?
Ok. One t-shirt, nothing more.
Ok.
- Nothing more! - All right! Ok.
But only if you're sure.
Clark, I said ok. That doesn't change how I feel.
So you'll have to excuse me if I decline
to put my cheerleader skirt on and yell, "Go, Clark, go."
Jeez. You are in some mood, boy.
You would look cute in a cheerleading skirt, though.
Hey!
Look at that.
- Huh. - Hmm!
How you doing?
Ok.
No, no. Come this way.
You have to see it, Clark. I know you do.
What?
It's like the town in the Twilight Zone.
"A peculiar little town."
Remember?
Come on. You watch TV-Land constantly.
Aah.
Clark.
What are you doing?
I want a coke.
Clark.
What's the matter?
I know you.
You've no intention of leaving this place
until you convince yourself you're not intimidated.
Can I get you something? Iced tea, or...
I wanna leave.
What's to be afraid of, honey?
Who knows what goes on in the backwoods here.
These guys, they could have 12 wives, date their sisters...
- I don't know! - I'll be right back.
Clark, I'm not staying here by myself.
Clark.
Ok.
Go piss on your hydrant, then we're getting out of here.
They look familiar.
Who do we know's moved to rock and roll, Oregon, to be street people?
Ha ha! Look at this.
Ha ha!
Come on in, folks.
Take the first available booth, ha ha!
Oh.
Wow.
This is fabulous. Look at this.
Look, look, look...
they have the moonglows,
Frankie Lymon and the teenagers,
Tweedle-Dee-Dee.
Oh, Tweedle-Dee-Dee. Wow! Oh, god,
I haven't heard that since my dad played it when I was a kid.
Just takeout drinks, remember?
- Yeah. - Mm-Hmm. Yeah.
All right. But... but...
Mary, I mean, look at this place.
Look at the menu. I mean ,you got
big bopper burger and suzie cue fries.
Come on, woman. Where's your damn soul, huh?
Drinks, Clark.
We discussed this in the car.
Drinks only.
Uh... What'll it be?
Can I have a coke, please? Large.
You ought to try the cherry pie.
Rick just made it.
Ah. All right. Sounds good.
Just a coke... to go.
That redhead over there.
Stop staring at her.
You're like a little boy trying to peek up somebody's skirt in study hall.
No. Is she, like, the splitting image of Janis Joplin,
Or am I crazy?
Hey, Mary? You all right?
What?
You're sweating, for cryin' out loud.
It's not anything to have a panic attack over.
Losing my mother's diamonds last year,
that's worth having a panic attack over.
Janis Joplin is dead, in L.A., an overdose.
What are these people? The Jonestown Glee club?
Uh... she's a groupie,
and this is like a fifties place.
They're playing dress-up, that's all.
Tell you what, we'll enjoy our pie
and we'll get out of here, all right?
Hi. Could I make my coke a malt?
Well, you can do anything you want, stud.
Well, in that case, make mine vanilla.
And how did I know that?
I mean, nobody makes malts anymore, you know?
It's all latte, mocha, gelato.
Any old excuse to charge you 5 bucks a pop.
Get out while you still can.
Go on, doll, serve 'em up.
Just the ones with the big biceps.
Yeah?
Thank you.
Don't mention it.
So how do you get your lipstick to match your hair like that?
You start with the lipstick, always.
Clark...
your pie is here.
Ah! Great.
You don't have to call this cowboy twice.
Yeah. Whoo!
Oh, yeah.
Oh!
Oh! That's incredible!
Mmm. Who made it?
Rick, take a bow.
Hell of a pie, man.
Wow. Where did you learn to make pie like that?
Me and mom, we hung around the kitchen a lot.
That's you in a nutshell, rick. Mama's boy.
Give me my hat back!
- Give me that hat. - Never!
- Come here! - Whoo!
Oh, and you run like a mama's boy.
Rick?
Ozzie and harriet? Ricky...
Nelson. Ricky Nelson.
Gotta catch me first!
That's impossible. That's impossible.
- He's... - Dead.
I think, like, 20 years.
A plane crash, him and his whole band.
- Hey! - Whoo!
Cut that out.
Clark, uh...
I think I left my wallet in the car.
Would you go get it for me, please?
The pink one. It might be under the seat.
You go.
If you can't find it, I'll come help you.
Right. I'll go look in the car.
Mm-hmm.
Don't let that pie get cold now.
Don't let it get to you, honey.
They're just starting to tune up for the concert tonight.
We have a concert here in town almost every night.
I'll bet you do.
Excuse me, sir.
Hey.
Howdy, ma'am.
That's Roy Orbison and Buddy Holly.
Solid tune, I'll give you that.
But it ain't no rave on.
They call that losing your cherry.
Well, don't worry yourself about that, sweet thing.
Welcome.
I ain't seen you around these parts before.
I, um... My husband and I, we're just tourists visiting.
We... we have to leave.
You and your man ought to hang around a while.
You ought to stay for the concert tonight.
We put on one hell of a show if I do say so myself.
We'd love to have you, ma'am, and not just for the night.
- Stay a spell. - What do you say?
Let me, um...
let me ask my husband.
Whoo! Aah!
Eww!
Oh, my god. Oh!
Hey! So you dine and dash, rotten crotch?
Get her, boys.
Get in the car, Mary!
Go!
Oh, my god.
I remember who they are now.
It's ronnie van zant and duane allman.
Clark, back up.
- Clark, go! - I'm trying.
Ahh! Ahh!
You're coming to the show.
Clark!
Screw you!
Woo!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Oh! Whoa!
Woo!
Fasten your seat belt.
Oh, great.
Clark, they're coming.
Still alive.
All of them.
Now what?
Boy looks like road kill.
Oh, my god.
Let's do this, ok?
Hey, who hurt you?
Cherry pie.
Clark.
Get us out of here.
We'll be fine.
Not a single one.
What?
Power lines.
Whereverthey get their power,
it's not from Oregon power and light.
You all right? Huh?
Back up. Turn around.
Go... go around.
Go on, go around!
What are you doing?
You've seen 'em.
Do you want to be them?
Welcome to town, both of you.
Hope you can, uh, stay a while.
We're real neighborly,
and we take care of our own.
I'm the mayor around these parts.
The name's Elvis Presley.
Driving away wouldn't have done you no good anyhow.
Highway don't go nowhere but the unicoi swamp.
No roads in there, ma'am.
There's a lot of polk salad
and quicksand and other things.
Bears.
Bears. Yep.
And other things.
If we stay for the show...
The show?
Oh, you got to stay for the show.
We really rock.
You'll see if we don't.
Ain't nothing but a stone fact.
If we stay for the show,
can we go when it's over?
You know, ma'am,
we're way out in the boonies out here,
and attracting an audience can be kind of slow work,
although once they hear us,
everybody stays around for more.
We was kind of hoping
you might stick around yourselves for a while,
see a few shows,
and just kind of...
enjoy our hospitality.
I think you might even decide...
you want to settle down.
So where do you want to sit?
Over there.
Hmm.
Hi.
I... I'm Cece Pryor.
Mary Rivingham.
This is my husband Clark.
Hi.
Pleased to meet you.
Your hand.
Frankie did it.
Frankie Lyman.
Everyone says he was the sweetest guy
you'd ever want to meet...
When he was alive.
He only turned mean when he came here.
You know, I don't care.
I just wish he had gotten away.
And I'd do it again.
Besides...
crystal takes care of me.
You know, she'll fix you up if you want.
You don't need to lose no fingers
to want to get stoned in this town.
Oh, my wife and I don't use drugs.
You will.
Good evening, Rock and Roll Heaven!
Get your seats fast, ladies and gentlemen,
and hold onto your chairs,
because there's good rockin' tonight.
How long do they go on?
A long time.
I mean, the show will be over at midnight.
It's a town ordinance.
But time is different here.
I mean, if the guys get cooking,
sometimes go for a year or more.
Well...
we got jobs.
Oh, yeah.
Mayor said Mary can go work at the bebop beauty shop.
I have an english degree.
A teacher's certificate, for god's sake.
And I'm a software expert.
You don't hear me complaining about it, do you?
I said to the mayor,
"Your honor, I'm a computer expert,"
And he says, "Well, son,
there's no computers in this here town," he says,
"Although we could use
a couple of ticketron outlets."
So you know,
I guess I'll... stack shelves for a while.
Wasn't too good for dad...
Once upon a time, hmm?
How do you reach these people?
This is a nightmare.
I'm supposed to spend the next god knows how long
as a shampoo girl?
Don't they hear you?
"I'll bet you can wash and rinse
with the best of 'em, little lady."
That's what he says to me.
Hey, you hadn't ought to make fun.
Making fun can get you into trouble around here.
Ok, Clark, we have to go.
My god, now. We have to get out of here.
Mary...
No, let's go. We gotta run.
Come on, Mary.
Come on.
Whoa!
Rock and Roll Heaven, are you ready?
We got a great show for you tonight,
A galaxy of stars, all backstage.
And who's that guy?
We got Freddie Mercury just in from London town,
Jim Croce,
my main man, Johnny Ace...
some old-time disc jockey.
Alan Freed.
Yeah, I knew I remembered him.
Jim Morrison on the red eye flight from Paris...
Take it easy, Mary.
Patsy Cline...
How bad could it be?
Keith Moon of the Who,
Brian Jones of the Stones,
That cute little Florence Ballard
Of the Supremes,
Mary Wells...
how long have you been here?
I don't know.
It's easy to lose track of time.
All your favorites, just for you.
12 years, at least.
Marvin Gaye...
maybe more.
Cass Elliot, Janis Joplin,
John Bonham... He'll get the led out of your zeppelin.
We got lost.
George Harrison, John Lennon...
we just got lost in the woods.
Kurt Cobain...
this what happens to people who get lost?
Stevie Ray Vaughn! The giants of music!
So, Rock and Roll Heaven, are you ready to boogie?
Then let's go,
because rock and roll will never die!
That's what I'm afraid of.
Come on, everybody! Whoo!